Julia Roberts, I'm not

I walked into this mans house last night and I was overwhelmed with a sense of Zen. It was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I had my own things to do during the day so I didn’t end up booking on until 11:30 at night with the agency. I didn’t think I’d get any hits, but I figured it didn’t hurt to try. My phone rang immediately and I was called to a gentleman’s house a few neighbourhoods away. Rather than taking the main roads, I thought it would be faster to just drive a straight line through the neighbourhoods. Of course I got all turned about, and when arrived I was a little frazzled. He also sounded weird on the phone, like he was stoned or something. I wasn’t too concerned about that, as dealing with clients and their drugs is not uncommon. I was a little more anxious than usual.

But like I said, when I walked through the door I was struck with such a feeling of calmness, it was like a gust of wind. It was clear that he wasn’t high, but had just woken up from a nap. He was shy, so I moved things along rather quickly. Some times they don’t want to talk, they just want me to do my job and leave. I didn’t get that feeling from him, but there was something that I couldn’t put my finger on. Because he made me feel so comfortable, I broke the rules and gave him the Girlfriend Experience. This means just what it sounds like, more touching, kissing, and a more intimate time. There was a lot of eye contact, and I took a risk. I looked at him and I said, “There’s something more that you want isn’t there.” He gave me a look that said I was right, and said, “What else could I possibly want?” I left it at that. We held each other for a while afterwards. It was the first time I’d ever cuddled with a  client. I wanted to fall asleep. It was like time had stopped. It was just nice. We talked and dozed for a while, then my time call came, and we continued to talk and doze.

When I started out I thought I’d have to make up this life (a third one, I guess) of answers to tell clients so they don’t know too much about me, but the lies would be too complicated. I lie about my age, my name, and where I live, but that’s about it. I’m as sincere as my clients are, and with sex already on the table, there is no hidden agenda. I gave a client a 45 minute massage the other day while we talked about love and heartbreak, and life and work and high school. We talked about everything. He was cute and young and lived in a penthouse. He asked me if I ever dated my clients. I told him no. He was the only guy who got under my skin. Perhaps I passed up my Pretty Woman life.

Great Expectations

When I got into this I knew what I was getting into. I anticipated my clientele to be… varied. And by that I thought that largely the gentlemen I’d be seeing would be guys who couldn’t get dates on their own. You know, not specifically unattractive, but I didn’t have high expectations. I was pleasantly surprised by when my first client opened the door. But that’s starting in the middle of the story. The beginning starts on day 3 of being ‘booked on’. Three days of no work, when you don’t know what to expect makes a girl pretty nervous.

In my previous life I worked in hospitality. Hospitality is a small community where everyone has transferred companies numerous times and everyone knows everyone. When I was hired on with the agency I told them that I could work anywhere except for my previous hotel, and the hotel were my previous boss now works. If I was found out word would spread like wild fire, and I just didn’t need that.

When I got the call I was driving on a busy street, so I wanted to pull over to talk to him, as I would have to write his information down. And what do you say??? I had to call him and say “…?” Anyway. Sink or swim. The kicker is it’s illegal to solicit, it’s illegal to have sex for money, it’s illegal to even have a place to have sex for money (ie a brothel) However, if someone wants to just pay me for my time, what happens between two consenting adults is between those two consenting adults. Its retarded. But really, I’m not the type of girl who would say anything blunt like that anyway. I’m not crude in mixed company. So I call, “I understand you are looking for some company this evening” This has become my token line.

The call was to go to the hotel where my boss now works. Of course. I told the client I would have the agency send another girl, as I am unable to go there. Then I thought about it, and I didn’t want to postpone work any further, especially my first job. I didn’t want my employers to think that I wasn’t cut out for the job. I also didn’t want to be seen my previous boss or other co-workers who have transferred over to this new hotel. So, I take this call, and it seemed like every part of was a struggle.

We arrange for a time, and I write the room number down, and off I go. Finding parking was a disaster, no big deal. After I park I realize I don’t have condoms. Of course. Fuck. Well I will pick some up at the hotel. The parkade takes me to the second floor, and I ask a staff member if they have a gift shop. She tells me no, but the front desk should have anything I may need. There is no way I’m going to the front desk asking for that! I tell the nice lady that I really wanted a pack of gum. Ughhh. Getting to the room was another disaster, I wrote the number down wrong, so I had to call him again and I finally got it sorted. Haha. I was so stressed by the debacle this was coming that I didn’t have room to be nervous. I knock on the door, and William Shatner opens up. No, not really, but the guy kinda looked just like him. Older yes, but not ugly really. He just looked like some body’s dad. He was quite a gentleman. He took my coat, and offered me a drink. Before the evening went too far though, I had to get an issue cleared up, and I didn’t really know what to say… so I went vague, hoping he would be able to keep up. “I don’t have anything. Do you?” Surprisingly, he didn’t look at me like I was an idiot. He looked a little helpless and said, “No, I don’t” “Ok, I’ll be back in 10 minutes” I literally ran the 3 blocks to the closest convenience store. The condoms were behind the counter, and the man who spoke almost no English indicated that I’d have to come around to pick out what kind I wanted. “Just regular is fine, thanks” No deal. He made me come around and pick. Seriously?! Seriously!! Is every party of this bloody thing going to be as painful as this? Can’t one thing go smoothly. Truthfully, this is just kinda how my life goes, and I’ve given up struggling against it. So I get back to the hotel, of course running into a old co-worker, but I keep going with only a quick hello. Once I got back into the room everything went better. We had a drink, then I just stood up and placed myself in front of him. I put my hand on the back of his neck, and he put his hands on me.

I’m sitting here trying to come up with the words to convey to you how it felt. With so many people sex is so shallow. So so shallow. Purely visual. If the person is ugly then the sex can’t be good. I won’t say what you see doesn’t have anything to do with it, but put on a blindfold and sex with an ugly person, isn’t going to be too different than sex with a hot person. With this gentleman, there was respect there. He was caring, and tender and respectful. It felt good.

Hello, I’m Alison. Nice to meet you.

I’ve always been sexually deviant. As a child, playing doctor was my favorite game. That’s why it’s not a surprise that I ended up in this profession. It’s only a surprise is that it took me this long.

The truth is I have tried it before, when I was younger. In my early 20′s I ‘went for a walk’ one night. That’s what I refer to it as, the night I went for a walk. It was not the brightest thing I’ve ever done. Between my house and my best friends house was a neighbourhood which was known for trolling, so I walked directly there one night, rather than taking the main road a couple blocks out of the way. I was so incredibly turned on and terrified at the same time. There was a rent-a-cop patrolling the neighbourhood, and he had parked behind me while I walked. At the time, I believed they knew what I was up to, and waiting to bust me. In hindsight, I now believe they were just keeping an eye on me in case I got jumped and gang-raped, as this was not a nice neighbourhood. A car did stop for me, but I just couldn’t do it. The idea of getting into a strangers vehicle was just too dangerous for me to do. When I got home I cried for what I had almost done. I was ashamed and I felt so dirty. I cried, and then I got myself off.

A couple years go by and I continue to explore my sexuality, and learn about myself. I gain confidence in my body. I begin to use dating sites to find men to try new things with. It wasn’t hard to find a guy to fuck, but if that was all he had to offer, I would quickly dismiss him. “You have a cock? Big deal. So does every other guy out there!!!” This journey was completely selfish. I wanted to try everything, fulfill my fantasies, and come up with new ones. I wanted to push the envelope just as far as I could. I won’t say it was fun, but sometimes I look back and wonder how I survived. I put myself in so many sketchy situations. There were a couple opportunities to explore the ‘Hooker Fantasy’, but it was tricky. The dating websites would kick you off if someone reported you. I’ve always had the theory that prostitutes were just smarter sluts. At least they’re not giving it away for free. The first time was amazing though. It was so easy, so much easier than I thought it would be. Not having any clue how any of it cost, I quoted him $100. I now know he got one hell of a deal, but I was glad to have the money. At that point of my life, I was living with my parents barely making it pay cheque to pay cheque. So with this money I was going to splurge!!! I went straight to Tim Horton’s and got an ice cap. A large one. It was the best ice cap I’ve ever had.

That was the last time I did anything like that for a while. I returned to school, and tried to push these deviancies back into the closet. More years go by, and my sexuality continues to be a dominant part of my life, I also continue to live pay cheque to pay cheque. At 27 I found myself with a useless diploma and working a job that is sucking the joy out of my life. Something had to change. So I gave a months notice hoping that in that time I would get a game plan. The escort profession was definitely an option but I just didn’t know how to do it. I don’t consider myself shy, but I just couldn’t bring myself to solicit. It was over tuna tataki with a friend that I found my path. Ange always had money. Lots of money, and she didn’t seem to work that much. I had assumed it was a trust fund, but never asked. It was not my business. But we were talking about various things, and it came out that she was an escort. The words “I want in!” came out of my mouth even before she had finished her sentence. She said no. She said she would never get a friend involved in this business. But I was serious. I told some of my story, and I told her that I was going to do it anyway. I was just afraid to do it through Craigs List or any other way I could think of. So we started the process. She put me in contact with the woman who runs the agency, and I went in for an interview. I found it ironic to have such a conventional hiring process for such an unconventional job. It was amusing.

Turns out the whole process is quite legal. I was surprised. But what surprised me the most is I had to get a license. Like a real plastic photo ID, which I have to carry around with me! I thought it would be funny to really tramp up my make up for the photo, but in the end I had to run straight to city hall from my legit job (and then back again) so I’m in my professional wear. It was disappointing. Lol.

So I’ve been doing this for a month now, and each time I walk through a gentleman’s door, it’s a little exciting, it’s a little scary and I’m always in suspense.