I Quit

     I just can’t do it any more. Something inside of me has switched, and when it’s time to book on, I just stare at my phone hoping another option arises. I have worked, maybe, five jobs in the new year. They’ve all been call backs. And honestly, they haven’t been that bad. Even Mr. Texas (who never did pay my tuition) was ok. It’s the same. It’s not better or worse. I just can’t bring myself to do it any more. 

     But I have to. Part of the reason I got into this job was to pay off my visa bill. It hovered around $3K at the end of 2010. Something that would have taken me well over a year to pay off at my current income. With the new job it got paid off in relatively good time. Then I went to Mexico, Nevada, Los Angeles, I went home to visit my family a number of times at the drop of a hat. I bought a Mac book, ipad, and 2 iphones and a car.  I bought a new wardrobe. Yesterday I added up the cost of my coat/boots/purse. $1,400. Previously my entire wardrobe didn’t cost that much. I’ve been living the good life. And my Visa bill is still at $0! But I now have a $16K-ish tax bill to contend with, and still no retirement fund to speak of. I was told that if I paid my 2012 taxes, and so on regularly as a student/writer, for a few years, it should balance out (Students and writers/artists get a lot of rebates) We will see. Point being, I am way worse off financially than when I started. I’m also concerned as to how I will pay for school. The simple answer to that is; The same way everyone else does. 

     And I met someone. This girl is a game changer. Yes, I skipped right over Step 2 in my dating strategy and straight to Step 3. Workin on Steps 2 and 4 though. I’m holding off on Step 5 for now. At this point I haven’t lied to her. That’s important to me. I told her that I’m a student, and I’m not working much. I feel like if I even take a job it would be dishonest. 

    Right now I don’t know what to do. We are going on a double date this Saturday with the couple who set us up. She planned it even before we went on our first date. It’s like we both know that this is it. We are both so incredibly comfortable together. I think I’m going to tell her after our date. My friends think this is a bad idea. 

    June (who for some retarded reason never gets a mention on here although she and Alex are my best, most dearest friends) thinks I should just down play it, or maybe put the relationship on hold until I save enough money, then get out completely, or just not say anything. Alex thinks I should just wait, “... Like maybe for two minutes...” I am to expect a call from him later today. 

    I just don’t want to lie to her. 

    As for the blog. I don’t know. I think this is the end. I’m not committing to that statement, but my blog is about being an escort, not a student or a... whatever else I am. And if I’m not an escort, I won’t have fuel for the blog. Way to many of my friends read this to turn it into a journal. They joke that I’m an escort just so that I can facilitate the blog. Partially true, maybe? Ha ha. Maybe I’ll become a drug dealer and write about life in a woman’s penitentiary. 

   See ya later. 

Not All Tools Are Handy

    “Ohhhh man,” He groans and pulls out of me. He immediately heads to the washroom. This man (boy, really) has never been to big on manners. I’ve seen him half a dozen times. He’s not my call back, he’s an agency call back. He doesn’t care who he sees. He just likes escorts. I think he’s a tool. He’s a maitre d at an upscale restaurant, and does as much coke as you would expect from someone in that role. He’s the type of guy who use to be hot, and skated through life as a result, but now he’s just kind of getting fat. 

    He comes out of the bathroom, and sees that I’m not dressed yet. 

    “You really have to get going.” He says handing me my clothes.

    “Yes,” I say firmly, implying perhaps he should be a little more polite. “I’m going to use the washroom first.” 

    “Ok, but hurry. My girlfriend is going to be here soon.” Such a fucking douche. This guy has had a girlfriend for as long as I’ve been seeing him (march maybe). I don’t know if it’s the same girl, but the bathroom is littered with girly products, so where she is on this early morning, I have no idea. 

     I hurried a little, but when I left, I was damn sure to leave my high heeled boot prints in the snow heading away from the doorway. She needs to cut this guy loose. 

Serendipity

This has nothing to do with escorting...

I mentioned how I’m serendipitous in the way I always get what I want, but never in the way that I want it. I thought I would lay out this week as an example. 

• I decide it’s time to start dating
• Go to house party with Jake, meet some people. 
• Dude who is a coke dealer asks me out on a date. I don’t really want to go out on a date with a coke dealer, but I decide to give him a chance and said yes. I had to cancel on him twice for reasons (kinda) beyond my control. I have not heard back from him.
• Hot chick in Daytona dress, who gave me a lap dance gave me her number. We texted a bit, but she didn’t seem interested. Much to my surprise, a week later she invites me out for drinks, and completely hits on me! Around midnight she invites herself back to my place. At which point I (internally) freak out, cause the new prudish Realme does not know how to handle bootie calls. As a result, I try (almost successfully) to pawn her off on Jake, as he suggested we compete for her. I have not heard from her since. 
• Sidenote: Initially there was great regret over my complete idiocy for not hooking up with this gorgeous little sex pot, but I maintain my prudishness. Whenever Realme has sex again, it’s going to be good sex. And it may or may not involve a bubble bath...
• I meet a guy whom I thought was gay, liked him the most. We bonded, swapped numbers, never texted. Bumped into him at a random bar the following weekend, and he put the flirt on in a big way (apparently not as gay as I thought), and I turned him down. He texted, but I did not respond. I liked him better when I thought he was gay
• Went dancing on Saturday, and my friends boyfriend (who is a 10 out of 10) starts hitting on my shamelessly. I will not go there. I will not steal someones boyfriend.
• Went to a bar to visit my bar tender buddy. She was not there, but her super cute co-worker was. I know him a little, so I stayed
• This is how one of our conversations went:
• Realme: So what are you doing for Singles Awareness Day?
• Cute Bar Tender: Nothing, wanna go on a date? 
• Realme: Uhhhhh... Yeah, sure.
• Cute Bar Tender: Forget it. You took too long to answer.
• Dude sitting next to us starts the slow clap. 

See what I mean how I always get what I want, but never how I want it? And before I made this decision, I was getting no action. This was all since last friday. I have a million examples of things like this in my life. I must learn to harness my powers! It’s hilarious. 

And for the record, my reason for hesitation with the cute bar tender, is cause I want to get a job there, and there’s something to be said for shitting where you eat...

Professional Conclusion

Fat women have fat labias, but fat men don’t have fat cocks. 

... Like Riding A Bike

    I went back to work today. Prior to today, I’ve only taken one job in the last three weeks.  I think I just got fed up. Really fed up. That guy that I wrote about on January 22  (I Want Out) just got to me. And I think the fact that he thought he was so caring was what got me the most. Like a hamster that you love so much, you pet it to death. Like the guy who treated me like the Corvette (Tired; October 29). He just didn’t see me as a person, and he hurt me, physically. I don’t need that shit. I’d had enough.

    But in the last couple weeks, I got a little TLC in the form of snuggles, I got my libido back, I put together a new persona, with new photos and did a little strategising. I am going to become the furthest thing from Realme I can be. I used to be the worst liar of life, but became quite good at it to cover up for this job. Well, I’m going to take it to a new level, and out and out lie about everything with my clients. This will be fun. 

    My client today was Frank. Which was good. I was able to practice my new extra-fake me on him, still being Alison of course, as that is who he knows, but I lied lots and laughed at everything he said. I also said his name lots and lots and lots. He seemed to just lap it up. (Pun intended).

    Honestly, I think I was afraid to go back. Every time I take some time off, I get a little nervous with my first client. That seems to be normal, but with the feelings I’ve been having the last little while, it was magnified. I’m glad I took all that time off. I had to to be able to continue with a healthy mindset. I think if I didn’t things would have got a lot worse for me, and I would have become a lot more bitter. Now I’m looking forward to it. I’m not booked on because I have my Rape Prevention class tonight, but I’ll book on after, and tomorrow morning like good ‘ol times. 

Guess What I Found!

    My libido!!! Yay!!!! I don’t think I quite realised how gone it was. But oh, man. For like, two months, there was nothin goin on. But I found it! I think my old fuck buddy that I was sexting with found it for me. We were sexting while I was in class the other day... so hard to take notes and focus on ancient cultures when you’ve got your phone on vibrate like that. 

    I told myself (and the agency) that I would come back to work today (Saturday), but, I may have gone to the movies instead. My bad. Monday. I will come back to work on Monday, I promise. But I’m ready to come back. Like I say, my head is back in the game. I’ve taken almost three weeks off. I’d just had enough. But yesterday, I gave myself the biggest orgasim while thinking of a client. I don’t know where that came from. I’ve never fantasised about that before. And it was a fictional client, I usually need to pull from my spank bank, I’m not good with imaginary things. I would like to point out though, the fantasy wasn’t about fucking him, it was just me taking off his clothes. (Well that was the part that got me off, my mind was all over the place prior.) Weird, I know. 

    Now that she’s awake though, my libido, she wants attention all the time. All I wanted to do today was have a little Realme time in the bedroom, but shit just kept coming up. And once isn’t enough. I cum the first time, and I’m still horney as fuck! It usually takes like 45 minutes. My guy friends tell me that they can rub one out in about 5-10 minutes. I wish! 

I’m Such a Hypocrite

     I have been asked out on a date by a coke dealer, and I don’t want to go because he’s a coke dealer. 

     That’s the punch line, let me tell you the story.

     Last week Dad and I had a heart to heart about how he thinks I should start dating again. And I want to make the disclaimer that right now, by saying What's-his-face (formerly known as Wonderboy) didn’t break my heart that bad, but Burning Man had my heart so wide open, it may have been the bat that broke the camels back. The romantic tales of Realme have been a little bleak the last couple years. So. Ok, Dad, you’re right. Lets get back in the saddle. The gates to the race open... and... I step out... nothing... I think I expected something immediately after the decision was made. The thing that’s equally awesome and not awesome in my life, is I always get what I ask for serendipitously, but it’s never how I want it. I know the Gods have a sense of humour. But don’t worry. So do I. 

     So I went to this house party, had a good time, met a coke dealer, swapped contact info, and carried on with my evening. I don’t do a lot of blow. Maybe a bump every couple months or so, but it’s not like that shit goes bad, and I don’t like being a mooch. Whatever. Have a good time, go home, carry on with my week. A few days later, he text’s me “Hey, what’s up?” I responded the next day with a not much. He just kept texting. Lots of questions, very engaging, lol, and we were having two way conversations. It wasn’t just a flood of questions, he told me lots about himself too. He was articulate. I value that. Anyway, we were texting for about an hour last night and he suggested we go for drinks. I put him off until tuesday because I have mid-terms. I was trying to tell myself that it's just a social. Don't be so assumptive. Then he signs off by sending me an emoticon of a rose. Oh dear. 

    I do not want to go on a date with a drug dealer. My standards are higher than that. Ha! I am such a hypocrite! I. Am. A. Prostitute. So why am I so much greater than he is??? I can’t answer that question. And until I do, I will agree to go out with him on Tuesday. I am going to reserve judgement. Frankly, I don’t even remember what the guy looks like. The only time I talked to him was when we were swapping contact info. Which brings me to the point of, why didn’t he talk to me at the party!?!?! There were only four girls there! If he’s got some expectations, he’s going to be greatly disappointed! Just because I happened to get drunk, received a lap dance from this hot little thing in a Daytona outfit, and get a tattoo all at a house party, doesn’t mean that you’ll be getting any easy action. If only there was a non-awkward way to lay out my dating strategy with him. Maybe I should just chill out until I meet the guy. If you listened to the audio clip; this is the road. I know. 

     Can I just say, I’ll bet dollars to donuts (yeah, I went there) that coke dealers don’t have the same troubles getting a date that escorts do.  

     By the way, I woke up in another man's sweat pants with a tattoo on my ass Sunday morning. Yes it was a drunken decision which mostly wreaks of regret (the tattoo, not sleeping with a SPD), but I always wanted to know what a tattoo felt like, sooo... and also, the fact that I don't have any identifiable marks on my body, kinda concerned me. Now I have a tiny little heart on my ass. Looks more like a triangular mole than anything else... I blame Capt'n Morgan. He's a persuasive asshole. 
    I realise that my having a tattoo as an identifier mark is completely redundant if I don't tell my mother about it, but if you'd met my mother, you wouldn't tell her either... maybe if I made it look more like a real tattoo, and less like a purple mole...

Find Me

So one of the joys of Blogger.com is it tells you what people googled in order to find my blog. Some of them just crack me up. Here they are some of this weeks that I think are pretty funny...

• Was Julia Roberts an escort
• fucking a homeless person
• escort Jake (I think we know who that was... although he denies)
• Mix business pleasure client escort
• what is it like having a dinner date with an escort
• escort tube com
• “I like having my toes sucked”
• Fucking your staff (where did I write about that???)
• I’m an escort and my friends don’t know
• I like escorting, is that wrong?

I have no idea how some of these lead to my blog!!!