Day in the Lives

It’s been a while since I’ve written. A lot has happened though. I’ve never told you about the double life I lead. After all, I do have parents and siblings and square friends. I have never been a good liar, so the idea of taking on a double life was daunting, but I had to do it. It’s the same old story, working a dead-end job, punching the clock and shuffling paper. Working for the man. Well I guess I’m still working for the man, but at least now I’m screwing him, instead of the other way around. I had to get out. I had to. This may sound weird, but while working at this job, I thought it would be really awesome to open my own concierge type business. Not the type where I get you concert tickets, but the type where my company will do your random jobs that you don’t have time to do, like grocery shopping for instance, and other such chores. I decided this would be my cover story. I went on to research it, and sure enough there was a company that had almost exactly the same business structure that I had come up with. It was a small business, and I decided that they would be my new employers. They do not know this of course. My biggest mistake was picking a job that was so interesting. Everyday my mom wants to know what I did! “Well Mom, today I helped a woman move and unpack her stuff.” “Oh, where did she move to? Where did she move from? Oh she’s divorced, Why’d she get divorced…?” Oh my God the questions never end. We don’t even live together.  Everyday I have to make up new stories. I grocery shop, I make gift baskets, I do endless deliveries, I babysit, I chauffer (although, apparently you need a licence to do that, so I quit telling people that one), I create photo albums, I help people de-junk their house. On and on and on. I tell my friends this too.

Ok so there is a code in relationships. I think it is unspoken, but everyone knows. Your best friend has a +1 (spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, intimate partner, whatever). It’s kind of assumed that when you tell your best friend a secret they tell their +1, and the +1 pretends to know nothing. That’s just how it works. I always assume that’s what happens. I would say most of my friends know what I do for a living, but some of my friends are part of a community that I’m involved in, so I’ve tried to limit how many of them know, to try to prevent everyone from finding out. But I’ve been hanging out with Alex a lot, and I’ve hated lying to him, because the questions can get quite involved, and ugh, it’s hard. So I told him, and I told him that he could tell his +1, because I assumed he would follow the code. I was wrong. A week or so later I saw Alex, as soon as he had a chance he told me that his plus one told so-and-so who then told her plus one, and well, now the cats out of the bag. I was furious. I was just so angry. How dare he! Doesn’t he know the friggen code? Fuck! Oh man, yup, I was mad. I told Alex that I never wanted to see his +1 again. If I ever invited him over, he is to come alone. His +1 was not welcome in my house. And I had no idea how my friends would respond. I knew that they wouldn’t care in the judgmental sort of way, but I was worried how discrete they would be, or if they’d be mad about the lies. I knew that I had to meet with them and have ‘The Talk’.  When I picked her up to go for coffee I felt like I was in the Mob. You know when they say they want to go for a drive. You don’t know if you’re going to get wacked, promoted, or just go for a friggen drive. After my initial discussion with Alex I realised I needed to play it cool though. There’s no need for drama. I hate drama. I met the girls for coffee, and it went really well. A little awkward at first, but then not at all. One of them told me that she did feel really hurt by the lies, and I really appreciated how honest she was with me. We were able to fix all of the wrongs. And as for Alex’s +1. I’ve let go of my anger and hate. I’m the one carrying it, while he goes along with is life, and not giving me another thought. I’m not mad any more. There’s just no point.