I went back to work today. Prior to today, I’ve only taken one job in the last three weeks. I think I just got fed up. Really fed up. That guy that I wrote about on January 22 (I Want Out) just got to me. And I think the fact that he thought he was so caring was what got me the most. Like a hamster that you love so much, you pet it to death. Like the guy who treated me like the Corvette (Tired; October 29). He just didn’t see me as a person, and he hurt me, physically. I don’t need that shit. I’d had enough.
But in the last couple weeks, I got a little TLC in the form of snuggles, I got my libido back, I put together a new persona, with new photos and did a little strategising. I am going to become the furthest thing from Realme I can be. I used to be the worst liar of life, but became quite good at it to cover up for this job. Well, I’m going to take it to a new level, and out and out lie about everything with my clients. This will be fun.
My client today was Frank. Which was good. I was able to practice my new extra-fake me on him, still being Alison of course, as that is who he knows, but I lied lots and laughed at everything he said. I also said his name lots and lots and lots. He seemed to just lap it up. (Pun intended).
Honestly, I think I was afraid to go back. Every time I take some time off, I get a little nervous with my first client. That seems to be normal, but with the feelings I’ve been having the last little while, it was magnified. I’m glad I took all that time off. I had to to be able to continue with a healthy mindset. I think if I didn’t things would have got a lot worse for me, and I would have become a lot more bitter. Now I’m looking forward to it. I’m not booked on because I have my Rape Prevention class tonight, but I’ll book on after, and tomorrow morning like good ‘ol times.
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