Serendipity

This has nothing to do with escorting...

I mentioned how I’m serendipitous in the way I always get what I want, but never in the way that I want it. I thought I would lay out this week as an example. 

• I decide it’s time to start dating
• Go to house party with Jake, meet some people. 
• Dude who is a coke dealer asks me out on a date. I don’t really want to go out on a date with a coke dealer, but I decide to give him a chance and said yes. I had to cancel on him twice for reasons (kinda) beyond my control. I have not heard back from him.
• Hot chick in Daytona dress, who gave me a lap dance gave me her number. We texted a bit, but she didn’t seem interested. Much to my surprise, a week later she invites me out for drinks, and completely hits on me! Around midnight she invites herself back to my place. At which point I (internally) freak out, cause the new prudish Realme does not know how to handle bootie calls. As a result, I try (almost successfully) to pawn her off on Jake, as he suggested we compete for her. I have not heard from her since. 
• Sidenote: Initially there was great regret over my complete idiocy for not hooking up with this gorgeous little sex pot, but I maintain my prudishness. Whenever Realme has sex again, it’s going to be good sex. And it may or may not involve a bubble bath...
• I meet a guy whom I thought was gay, liked him the most. We bonded, swapped numbers, never texted. Bumped into him at a random bar the following weekend, and he put the flirt on in a big way (apparently not as gay as I thought), and I turned him down. He texted, but I did not respond. I liked him better when I thought he was gay
• Went dancing on Saturday, and my friends boyfriend (who is a 10 out of 10) starts hitting on my shamelessly. I will not go there. I will not steal someones boyfriend.
• Went to a bar to visit my bar tender buddy. She was not there, but her super cute co-worker was. I know him a little, so I stayed
• This is how one of our conversations went:
• Realme: So what are you doing for Singles Awareness Day?
• Cute Bar Tender: Nothing, wanna go on a date? 
• Realme: Uhhhhh... Yeah, sure.
• Cute Bar Tender: Forget it. You took too long to answer.
• Dude sitting next to us starts the slow clap. 

See what I mean how I always get what I want, but never how I want it? And before I made this decision, I was getting no action. This was all since last friday. I have a million examples of things like this in my life. I must learn to harness my powers! It’s hilarious. 

And for the record, my reason for hesitation with the cute bar tender, is cause I want to get a job there, and there’s something to be said for shitting where you eat...