Burnt Out

   I couldn't get off the couch today. Literally. I tried a few times, but my body was so physically exhausted, I could barely lift my head. I dropped off my fee's this afternoon at the office and the amount was twice as much as the biggest week I've ever had previously. Alex's job is physically demanding, and we joke that although, my job is too, it's not the same. I don't really work. I can't compare what I do with having to wake up to an alarm clock day in and day out, I do put in my time.

   On average each hour long call takes easily two to three hours with the prep/shower/makeup/travel time is required. I'm trying to justify why I'm so tired, but I still don't often put in an 8 hour day, and there's lots of people out there who work harder than I do. The amount of emotional energy I put out being the girl that the men want me to be is taxing. And I don't need to tell you that sex can be more tiring than time spent at the gym.

   The other day, I had a morning appointment with Frank, so I was up at 8:30, out the door by 9:30, spent an hour with him, went and got insurance for my trip, stopped by my grandma's for an hour (also where I have to be the person that she wants me to be), grab a quick bite (a smoothie, I know, should have been more), went to the STI clinic to get my naughty bits checked, went to see another regular, came home, sat on my couch for 15 minutes, ate a little more, saw third client, Mr. Texas with the non-emralds, drove to yoga, got in an accident en route (both my car and I are fine, we just swapped a little paint) did yoga, then skyped with boy-wonder until past midnight. I feel like all of my days have been that busy lately. Is that fair? Am I allowed to be exhausted? No? Too bad, you're a jerk!

I had an appointment with a client in the early evening, but didn't officially book on around 10:00 last night, then got called in right away. The client was a little weird. Not scary weird, just personality weird. He told me all about the other girls he's seen through the agency and how often he's seen them. He doesn't know why he hasn't seen my picture up there, he would have called me a lot sooner. My picture has been up for months, first line... lol... oh well. We don't chat long before we get down to business, and it wasn't long after that where he does a nose dive between my legs. "Woah, woah woah!" I exclaim, "Sorry, that costs extra." He looks at me, confused, and I explain the rates. He sits at the end of the bed, not facing me. I thought he was contemplating it. Instead he says, "You need to leave right now." "What? Is everything ok?" Apparently none of the other girls charged for those things, and this was completely ridiculous. "Can I just use your washroom really quickly?" He consented. I promptly left. The idea of giving some of his money back crossed my mind, but then thought better of it. He didn't reach his end goal but he did receive all services provided.

   I called the agency to tell them that I was out, and he'd already called, outraged by the inconsistency of services. I just do what I'm told, I don't make these rules up. I think the other girls allow guys to get away with more so they get more regulars. I don't. lol. I do fine with my regulars.

   My next call was a call back. While away on vacation, I accidentally deleted my contact book, so I was unable to reference who he was. Awesome move, I know. He sounded fine on the phone, I figured I'd figure it out when I got there. And I did. Did I tell you about the guy who flipped out at me because I was wearing purple lingerie?
   "WHY ARE YOU WEARING PURPLE??? I HATE PURPLE"
   Calm that coke binge down. Fuck. I snuck into the washroom, and told the agency to give me my time call in 5 minutes. They did, and I got out of there. This call was that guy. I didn't even go in. I called the agency and told her to tell him I had car troubles and couldn't make it. Susan totally has my back. No matter what the situation is. She had my back with the first dude, and she had my back in this situation too.
   I felt guilty about bailing, when I didn't know whether or not this situation would actually be ok, and she's like "If you don't feel safe, don't do it!"
   And I don't, I won't. But still, it's nice to know that I'm not going to end up on the shit list.

   From there... (Yes, there's more, it's about 1:30 AM at this point) I go to my third client. Not a regular, he picked me off the internet. He was a perfect way to finish off my evening. He looked like James Franco from 127 Hours, only a little shorter, and more latin. He was shy and charming. He told me that earlier he was cooking for his friend. The place smelt delicious. We spent a lot of time caressing. It was nice. He was hovering over me when he took his pants off, and something landed on me with a thud. I looked down, and it was the biggest cock I've ever seen. I don't mean professionally, I mean EVER, and I'm including porn! When I wrapped my hand around it, there was still an inch between my fingers and thumb.
   "What did you do?!?!" Alex asked when I told him after yoga.
   "What do you think I did?" I laughed.
   This guy blew me away though. Afterwards he played his guitar for me. Slide guitar, my most favorite thing in the world, when live. Then we just laid on the bed and talked for a bit while he rubbed my back. I was at a loss for words. That doesn't often happen with me. While running my hands through his hair, I noticed how corse it was. I asked him what his heritage was and he told me he was part horse. "Mmmm, yes, that makes sense." He didn't get it and was insulted. I reached down for his groin and he laughed.

   So the age old question. Does size matter. You know, when you're staring down at a beer can, you can't say it doesn't. Could I handle it? Yes. Was I intimidated? Yes! ha ha. We didn't do any more than the two basic positions, and I'm sure I could have done better with practice, but... ha ha. I sincerely don't think that size is a huge deal (sorry, didn't know how to get around that pun) I think if you're attentive, imaginative, and energetic, that will make up for any short comings you may have (again, sorry about the pun) And I truly believe that.

   So I know what you're thinking. "Poor Alison, so busy making all that money." You know what? Money has never been a motivator for me. I think that's why I've always ended up in jobs that don't pay, but make me happy, although not making rent ultimately made me sad. In this job I have the best of both worlds, as I value my time the most. I also think that's why I suck so bad at managing money.