I don't want girls reading my blog and go into the business based on my experiences. I got extremely lucky to get hooked in to the agency I'm with (pun!) I frequently have chats with the girls who work the phones and they tell me stories about the other very prominent agency in the city. Most of our girls are from there. With my agency I call my own shots 100% of the time. If I don't want to work, I don't book on. Sometimes they'll still call me, but most of the time they won't. And when they do call, most of the time I'll answer as a courtesy, rather than screen their call. If I am booked on and I decide a client creeps me out over the phone, not only am allowed to not take the call, but it's encouraged.
I was called to an address today (one I will from now on have locked in my memory) When I got there, I phoned the agency.
"Ummm, I don't know what to do, but I'm not taking this call."
"Why?! What's going on?" She asks.
"It's an old-folks home! A Catholic old-folks home! I'm not going in there!"
And then the cackles of laughter rang out over the phone.
"It's not funny!" I plead, "I've been there before. Not only did the guy nickel and dime me, literally, he paid me with his piggy bank, but I got heckled on the way out!"
More laughter from Leanne.
"I was wearing pants! I don't know how they knew I wasn't just someones grand-daughter, but they did! Don't make me go in there!"
"No, no, no, don't worry. There's another place that we don't send the girls, it's a mental facility, we'll just say this is the same. You don't have to go."
"So how do we handle this?"
"If he calls back, we'll just say that he'll have to get a hotel, and we don't send girls into nursing homes."
At the other agency, Ashley's, you are allowed to refuse calls but it's strongly 'discouraged'. If you're not at their beck and call, they will starve you out, and not give you calls. Not cool. With Andrews agency, he has girls on shift. He tells them when their available, you know like a real job, with a schedule. That doesn't mean they work eight hours a day, but they don't get to decide when they do and don't want to work. I think my agency is as close as it gets to being independent, except they put ads in the phone book for us, run our website, and act as a safety net. Totally worth the 27% cut they take. I also heard that the woman who runs Ashley's is a real bitch to work for.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not just trashing my competitors (ok, well maybe I am) but I still would see them as best case scenario compared to a lot of other situations. I guess what I'm trying to say is a lot of people see the sex trade industry and abuse going hand in hand. Do not settle for that. No one has the right to abuse you. No one. No one has the right to treat you poorly. Not your boss, not your clients, not your boyfriend. Do not let anyone make you do anything you don't want to do.
And carry mace. Not a knife. Knives get taken from you, or if it doesn't have a hilt, you'll end up slicing your own hand when your stab attempt hits a bone, and your hand slides down onto the blade. Just sayin. You don't want to deal with those criminal charges. Mace. If you've been watching the news lately, it's pretty clearly effective. Canadians, mace is illegal; dog spray is not. Dog spray comes in much smaller containers than bear spray. And they're pink! Pick it up at your local gun range.
I was doing a bunch of research on violence in the sex trade industry, and the stats are across the board. A good one is 98% of sex trade workers will or have been raped in their career. That's a pretty big statement. First question, where did this stat come from. An out-reach centre? Oh, ok. So where did they gather their information? From girls who are reaching out. Hmmm, bias? Second question, how do they define sex trade worker? Just girls who walk the street, or escorts? In-calls, or out-calls? What kind of scope does this research have? Because girls on the street have a very different experience than escorts who do in calls. When a prostitute gets in a car, no one knows where they're going, when they'll be back, or who is in the car. Is there even any one keeping an eye on them? When I'm working the agency knows where I am at all times, and if I'm going to a hotel, they check with the hotel that the guest is in that room and is who he says he is. My next question is how did they get their information? The way I see it, if an escort is doing her job, she's doing fine, and never gets in any kind of trouble, whether it be with the law, or with a client, she's going to stay under the radar. Then of course, where are the stats taken. Las Vegas for example, they play a different game there. I would never work there. Or Los Angeles, or New York. Too big, too crazy. No thank you.
Then there is the stat that I quoted the other day; 75% of women in the sex trade industry have been sexually abused at some point in their lives. You know what? I think it would be fair to say that 75% of all woman have been sexually abused at some point in their lives. Period. And this is from my personal experience and discussions with friends. Whether it be rape, assult, harrassment, something small, or severe, it's discustingly common. Aside from my experience with the babysitter, there was an incident when I was, maybe, 20 where dude from the bar, a friend of a friend, walked me home when I was ablsolutly shit faced. I tried to leave him at the outside door of my appartment, but I was too drunk to walk, so he walked me up to my place and invited himself in. As I was passing out on the couch, he took me into the bedroom and fucked me. Date Rape. His name is Dave. Now seriously, the extent to which I don't care, is great. I really don't. He's a douche, end of story. Maybe 25 years from now, it will rear it's ugly head, but for now, I really don't care. He tried to get his flirt on with me the next week, and I told him to go fuck himself. I also was neither quiet nor discrete about what happened. And yes, Dave is his real name. My point? It's common!
When I spoke to the woman from the assault centre, she said so seldomly is it as violent as what you see on TV, they really glamourise it. It just happens through corresion, or guilt, or for whatever reason women don't fight it. This is what she told me: 8% of women who are sexually assulted come forward. Of that 8%, 4% are able to press charges. From there, only 2% are able to get convictions. So to that 75% they're talking about, I say, "Uh-huh... and?". Ok, my last little bit of trivia, I heard on the radio the other day that there's a link between ice cream and car thefts. Studies show that in the summer time, both consumption of ice cream, and car thefts increase dramatically. Clearly there must be a corrolation between the two. Catch my drift?
I am able to referenece these stats, just not right now, I'll get back to you...
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