I Quit

     I just can’t do it any more. Something inside of me has switched, and when it’s time to book on, I just stare at my phone hoping another option arises. I have worked, maybe, five jobs in the new year. They’ve all been call backs. And honestly, they haven’t been that bad. Even Mr. Texas (who never did pay my tuition) was ok. It’s the same. It’s not better or worse. I just can’t bring myself to do it any more. 

     But I have to. Part of the reason I got into this job was to pay off my visa bill. It hovered around $3K at the end of 2010. Something that would have taken me well over a year to pay off at my current income. With the new job it got paid off in relatively good time. Then I went to Mexico, Nevada, Los Angeles, I went home to visit my family a number of times at the drop of a hat. I bought a Mac book, ipad, and 2 iphones and a car.  I bought a new wardrobe. Yesterday I added up the cost of my coat/boots/purse. $1,400. Previously my entire wardrobe didn’t cost that much. I’ve been living the good life. And my Visa bill is still at $0! But I now have a $16K-ish tax bill to contend with, and still no retirement fund to speak of. I was told that if I paid my 2012 taxes, and so on regularly as a student/writer, for a few years, it should balance out (Students and writers/artists get a lot of rebates) We will see. Point being, I am way worse off financially than when I started. I’m also concerned as to how I will pay for school. The simple answer to that is; The same way everyone else does. 

     And I met someone. This girl is a game changer. Yes, I skipped right over Step 2 in my dating strategy and straight to Step 3. Workin on Steps 2 and 4 though. I’m holding off on Step 5 for now. At this point I haven’t lied to her. That’s important to me. I told her that I’m a student, and I’m not working much. I feel like if I even take a job it would be dishonest. 

    Right now I don’t know what to do. We are going on a double date this Saturday with the couple who set us up. She planned it even before we went on our first date. It’s like we both know that this is it. We are both so incredibly comfortable together. I think I’m going to tell her after our date. My friends think this is a bad idea. 

    June (who for some retarded reason never gets a mention on here although she and Alex are my best, most dearest friends) thinks I should just down play it, or maybe put the relationship on hold until I save enough money, then get out completely, or just not say anything. Alex thinks I should just wait, “... Like maybe for two minutes...” I am to expect a call from him later today. 

    I just don’t want to lie to her. 

    As for the blog. I don’t know. I think this is the end. I’m not committing to that statement, but my blog is about being an escort, not a student or a... whatever else I am. And if I’m not an escort, I won’t have fuel for the blog. Way to many of my friends read this to turn it into a journal. They joke that I’m an escort just so that I can facilitate the blog. Partially true, maybe? Ha ha. Maybe I’ll become a drug dealer and write about life in a woman’s penitentiary. 

   See ya later.