I think people think that most of my clients are high end. I think people have an image of what type of people I see. And I have to say it’s probably not true. I would say that the majority of my clientele are heavy on the middle class side of things. They’re probably mostly renters, and I would honestly say, way more of them are single than you probably think. And you can tell when men are single. You can tell by women’s shoes at the door, you know, their toiletries in the bathroom. Things like that. You can tell when a man’s married. You just know. And I won’t say that I don’t see married men, but I would definitely say the strong majority are just people who are unable to… well… they’re just guys, they’re just regular people. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
Having said that I was called to a house last week, and I think it was easily one of the wealthiest clients I’ve ever had. The other client I’m thinking of would be someone that was the neighbourhood of a client for my other company, so when I pulled up to that house, I was pretty nervous to which house I was actually going to. But this guy that I saw last week; young, gorgeous, he kinda looked like a skinny Jude Law. Which frankly, I appreciate. He looked a lot like Jude Law, but like I say, easily one of the wealthiest clients. When I left his place, I was stopped at a red light. The car in front of me was a Lexis, there was a BMW beside me, behind me was an Audi. My poor Chevy felt so out of place
He was a good time though. One of the funny things about him was, we kinda hit it off. But at the same time, I really didn’t trust him. An expression I learned in my younger days is: How do you know when a drug addict is lying to you? His lips are moving. And I hate to say it, but I’m kind of starting to get that feeling about men. How do you know when a man’s lying to you? His lips are moving. Please don’t interpret that as I’ve been lied to so many times, I’m getting bitter, it’s just funny. People will tell you what ever they want to tell you. And he told me a lot of very complimentary stuff. He told me that he hasn’t had any sex in six months, and he hadn’t had a blow job in eight. But like I say, he looks like Jude Law. So I kind of didn’t believe him. And a woman lived in that house. There were defiantly women’s clothes in the closet, and toiletries in the bathroom, so it’s like “Yes, yes, I believe you” but I didn’t. And he told me he’s going to call me back every week, and again, I didn’t believe him. Normally I keep track of my clients in my little black book. Largely just for tax purposes, and also for call-backs, so if someone is like “You saw Jon six months ago” “Well, I saw 3 Jon’s. What’s his phone number?” He kept his word and called me back a week later. But because I’d been slack in keeping up my little black book I didn’t remember his name. Even when I got the address, I drew a blank. And of course my GPS took me to a really wrong address. But when I pulled into his neighbourhood, after consulting a paper map, I knew where I was going and I was really quite happy to see him again. It was a double call. And so it was me for him, and one of our girls for his buddy. When we get there he was just a cool dude. You know, laid back… he’s kinda like the smouldering sexy guy from high school, only grown up. You know, the kind who leaned against the locker all intensely. Him. But his buddy… frick! So funny. He would just ask the most ridiculous questions. It was his first time and he wanted to be respectful. He just kept saying that. He was raised properly and he didn’t want to offend with his questions, but he had so many questions. How it worked was his primary question. “How does it work!?” and we are trained to be vague. We know these guys aren’t cops, but it’s hard to say, “Well, You go into the other room, then you take off your clothes, and then you fuck. Conversation is not really necessary.” You know? You don’t really say those things, so we kinda beat around the bush, and used innuendos, and subtly, but he was really funny. And he’s like, “So can we just make out for a while?” And then he’d laugh. Laugh so hard. We’d all be killing ourselves. He’d ask these questions with a dead pan-face, and then he’d start laughing so hard. Then he’s like, “What I care the most about is that you have a really good time.” But he was dying laughing when he said it. So of course I say, “I love how you can be serious about every thing ridiculous, but the thing you want to say with the most conviction, you’re busting a gut!!!” This guy was hilarious. In a way he kind of reminded me of Jim Carry. He looked like a normal person until he smiled, and then he looked like he was out of a cartoon. It was really funny. Before Jude and I head up to his room his friend wanted to put cable on or something like that, and Jude was like, “Fuck it cost me $15K to install that thing, and I don’t know how to even work it” This is a flat screen tv and when it’s turned off, it’s a mirror. For real.
After everything was over, I ask him, “So what do you do?” It’s silly, but I feel like by asking them, I can get some of their insight, and I can do that. But really? I went to university, and I became an engineer. That is how I have money. Oh, that’s how you did it. Education! Right. Anyway, this guy… I can’t really say what he does without breaking confidentiality. But me not really being in the pop-culture loop, or the scene, in my fair city I guess you’d say, couldn’t recognise him. I don’t know faces. If I fucked a politician, I wouldn’t know. This guy is not a politician, but you could say he is a local celebrity, so to say, in the business world anyway. And it’s just like, “Yup. That makes sense that you have this much money.” I don’t know a single person in the city who doesn’t know about the impact he’s made. Anyway, It’s weird… well… I don’t know where I’m going with this. I like him though. And I hate when I like clients. Well, I don’t like-like him, but there are a few clients that I have that I let get away with more than other clients. Sometimes, I wanna stay past my time call, cause they’re cool. This is defiantly one of those guys where I want to say, “Yeah, I’ll chill. No worries.”
Now that I have my internet photos up, I am mad busy. I had four calls today, three back to back. He was the first of those three, and I’m pretty glad about that. After you have sex once, your make up starts to wear off. After you have sex three times, not a lot of make up left! Not going to lie. The internet photos are absolutely paying off. I also have an ad in the sun. So whereas I would get two generals a day, now I’m not getting any, but I’m getting three or four calls a day through call backs, or the sun ad, and my internet photos, so that’s pretty awesome.
They’re getting the escorts to work the phones, because the girls who normally work the phones are all on holidays. I struck up a conversation with one of the girls. There’s a competing agency in town and I hear that they are the It agency. It turns out that they were the It agency, but then all the top girls from that agency got fed up with dealing with their boss, and came over and started a new agency, which is the agency I work for now. It’s funny because Andrew said, “We’ll drop your rates, and we’ll get more business. People don’t want to pay that much money” The whole Timmy’s vs. Starbucks thing. And I thought at the time, but now that my internet photos are up, I really believe; People do pay that much money. People will pay the extra for GFE. The more time that goes by the more I’m glad I didn’t quit and go with Andrew. And I’m talking to this girl, and she had a very good point. For example, say I’m not working at a certain point in time, someone calls for my ad, they give the call to someone else. Which means the same for me. If someone calls for someone else’s ad, and they’re not available, I get it. Whereas if I were working independent, I wouldn’t get those calls. I wouldn’t get the advertising ricochet. Not only that, but there are also generals. I’m really glad for what I’m doing. Also talking to her, because I know that people gossip, and I really can’t trust anyone, I also put in a big, “I love my boss, and I love my agency, and I’m really glad to be working here!” Blah blah blah, plug plug plug. Hopefully, in a gossipy way, that gets back to my boss.
I got a little side tracked there.
Speaking of guys you want to spend a little extra time with, I had another two girl call… I don’t know if it’s summer or what, but man! It’s like spring. The boys are in heat!!! This was last night, and it was late, maybe two or three in the morning. It was the guy that I wrote about having the man cave. And this guy, I just like him. He’s so awesome. He really just needs a girlfriend, cause all he wants to do is play guitar, and sing and stuff. He’s got this one song…Inspite of Ourselves . He's hoping I will sing the duet, but I don't know the words! He likes to sing folk music. He’s got a voice like Bob Dylan, which I generally wouldn’t say is a compliment, a but he does it well. Me and this other woman are there. She can sing, doncha-know-just-ask-her-and-she-tell-you-how-great-she-is. She wouldn’t sing though, cause she couldn’t find a song that she liked. That’s like not dancing cause you don’t know the steps. And I’m like, are you kidding? I can’t carry a tune in a bucket, yet I’m strumming a guitar, and singing along. It’s what makes them happy. We’re paid to make them happy. I had fun. He’s trying to teach me how to play the guitar. Alex says, “I can’t believe normal people pay to get guitar lessons, and you’re getting paid to get guitar lessons.” I’m like “Yup. That’s me.” We played guitar, and we went into his room, and we have fun, and he wants me to stay. He really takes it personally when I don’t stay. I hate it when guys take it personally. Well that’s not true. Mostly, I don’t care when guys take it personally. But when it’s someone who is cute, and sincere, and just cuddly, I do feel bad that I don’t stay. But like I say, we all know what happened with Richard Gere. That was a lesson. You know, you don’t date your clients. Cause then they’ll fuck you. And it’s sad. It’s not that sad. It’s ok. As I was saying. He wanted me to sleep over, and I really wanted to. We were lying there waiting for my partner in crime, and her plus-one up stairs to finish up, and we’re lying there, comatose cause it’s 4:30 in the morning, mumbling to each other about how comfy we are, and them my phone goes off in a shrill alarm telling me time’s up, and I gotta go.
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