Not all things go smoothly. And I don't mean for me, per say, but for the clients. Sometimes things go wrong. There were two definite situations I have in mind when I say that.
A while ago I was called to a hotel I've really been looking forward to seeing. It has a reputation for being quite beautiful. I really wanted to see the inside of one of the suites. When I get there the client meets me in the lobby, and he tells me, "We have bit of a problem" And I don't like hearing that. It concerns me immediately. I ask him, "What kind of problem?" And he says that we couldn't go up to his room. That is a problem! It leaves us in a bit of a predicament. It's not my problem. It's definitely his problem. I really don't know what his thought process behind this was. What happened was him and his buddies came to town for a concert, and while the boys were all sleeping it off, and he was awake and bored, I guess. So... idle hands... ?lol.
So he called me, and I came, and he has no room. I ask him, "Well, what do you want to do about that?" He had the option of sending me away. Someone may not like me. I'm happy to say that's never happened before, but if I'm not your particular taste or whatever, I can go. However there is a $70 no-show charge. What's happened a couple times, is someone didn't have enough money, so I took their $70 and left. Ha ha. That would suck for them. It's like an NSF charge at the bank. "What? You're broke? Well... It's gunna cost ya!" ha ha ha. But this guy didn't want to do that. I told him that we could spend half an hour together. He agrees to that. And keep in mind we're still in the lobby, so we go around a corner and he pays me discretely. I'm thinking this is kinda hilarious. What are we supposed to do now? "Did you want to go for a walk? There's a Starbucks around the corner. We can hang out" Alison! Do not laugh out loud! So that's what we did. It was around 10:30 in the morning, so it's not like it was dark. This guy really wanted what he wanted though. I had to tell him that I require 1. Privacy, and 2. A bed. I'm not going to fool around with you or anything in any sort of public space. Because, A. I don't want to get arrested! You know that. It's kind of one of my things. Especially for some bullshit charge like public indecency. Really! and B. I don't put on free shows. So if you want to fuck me with your buddy watching, you're both paying me for your time. He wanted to fool around and give him a BJ on some side street. It's still a street though. There are still cars driving down this street, at 10:30 in the morning. "It's not going to happen" I tell him. Then he tried to get me to fool around with him in the parkade of the hotel. And I didn't even get as far as to determine if he had a car in the parkade. I didn't care. Some hotels have cameras in the parkades, some don't. Again, I'm not taking that chance. Especially in downtown hotels. I may want to get back into the hospitality industry. I may want to apply for a job, and my future boss being, "Oh right, you're that girl we caught fucking in a car down in the basement that time." Nope. That's not me. Needless to say he was very disappointed. I'm baffled to know what he thought was going to happen. This was funny, and weird, and awkward, and just stupid. It doesn't take the cake though.
That was one situation. Another was more recent.
I was called to a job, and it was a triple. Three girls. I wasn't heading it up, but I'm game. Where and when? I arrive about 10 minutes early. Unless I know the guys, or the situation, I don't go in alone if I'm out numbered. It was dark, so I couldn't quite see the house numbers but I know it's one of two houses. I park around the corner, and wait for the other girls to show up and play on my phone. Whilst doing this I see these guys sitting out on their balcony, and I think, "Awww, shit, that's them" Then I see them pointing at me. "Fuck, I've been spotted" They get off the balcony and they come down, and they approach my car, so I roll down my window, and I'm straight up with them, "I'm just waiting for the other girls to arrive." They invite me in, and then buddy opens the passenger door. The physical reaction I had to this was surprising. I didn't feel threatened by these guys prior, they seemed like normal guys, but when he opened my car door, he invaded my personal space; my safety zone. Clients do not get in my car. They do not touch my car. They often don’t even see my car. That’s my security thing. I like them to think that I have a driver. I like them to think I’m not alone. So when he open my car door, my reaction was a little intense. The level to which I was uncomfortable was high. At this point, I figure I may as well go in.
So we are up on their deck, chatting, they’d been drinking, with a kind of festive feeling. Then this chic shows up. I don’t know all of our girls, or what they drive, so I’m thinking this is one of my colleagues arriving. But the guys are like, “Oh, shit!” This girl was the home owner’s secretary/girl he was banging. Their words, not mine. The home owner and the girl go off to get beer, and that leaves me with the other two dudes and we’re making small chat, when my actual colleagues show up. I kind of felt a little insecure. One of them was that really curvy vivatious girl I told you about. I think she’s really beautiful. She’s a little bigger, but she’s stunning. Then the other girl had the alternative look going for her. She had tattoos and piercings, and borderline orange/pinkish hair. She had her own kind of hotness going on. She had two Tim Burton tattoos. One of them was of Edward Scissorhands, and the other was the girl from Nightmare Before Christmas. The guy was like, “So you really like Johnny Depp” She got very politely defensive about this, but still very defensive. Like, obviously she had been asked a lot about this, and obviously she was tired of explaining it. Maybe she loved her tattoos, but she was tired of talking about it. That’s what I got off her. Strongly. Then dude #2 comes out of the kitchen, looks at her, and says, “You’re not happy to be here at all are you?!?!” ha ha ha ~Realme, do not laugh out loud!~ But she just looked pissed. I think she was even texting at the time, and to me that’s the biggest no-no. You’re getting paid hundreds of dollars for a small amount of time. Get the fuck off your phone. She denied her misery, but she wasn’t sellin it at all! Meanwhile the home owner and his Plus One, we’ll call her, return and Little Miss Tim Burton sees this other chic show up. And, I’m not going to lie, she looked a little hookerish…And Miss Tim Burton thinks she’s one of our girls. And she vocalises this! She starts asking, “Did we do our math wrong? Did we send to many girls?” Blah Blah Blah, I don’t know the conversation that went on between the home owner and the Plus One on their beer run, but I’m standing back just watching this all play out as my co-worker calls the agency to ask if there are too many escorts here, and watching the Plus Ones reaction for jealous based on the fact that the guy she’s fucking is calling escorts. This, my friends, is priceless. This is the strangest fucking situation I have been in, in a little while. But everyone was chill. There was zero drama. No conflict. It was pretty easy to chuckle to yourself just watching what was going on. As the hour ticks by, I’m waiting to see what happens. There are three guys, and four girls. So I say, “You guys should call one of your buddies, and even things out.” Then they give me a hard time for wanting to work to hard. “I’m just sayin…” I tell them. Then one of them pulls me into the other room. I was glad. It’s so much like junior high, where you just don’t want to get picked last for the baseball team. We’ve all been there! Looks aside, I think my personality has a lot to do with it though. I think my openness, and my candidness go along way. I give that more credit than how I look. I’m not saying I’m ugly or anything, but it still felt nice to be picked first. So he pulls me into the other room, and I tell him, “I don’t know man, I kinda want to see how this one’s gunna play out…” But whatever.
So we go, and have our fun (as I call it, ha ha) And I’ve mentioned this before… I squirt, and I leave a bit of a mess. Guys love it. I feel awkward about it, but they go crazy over it, so I don’t hold back. When we’re done, the home owner and the plus one have gone into the other room, and I didn’t realise the other girls were waiting to use our room. I kind of felt really bad, cause they had to fuck in my wet spot. Ha ha ha, eww. “Sorry about the mess team,” I tell them. They play it off like it was nothing. I wouldn’t want to be in someone else’s wet spot. Ha ha. My Bad. I don’t even know if Miss Tim Burton made it past the threshold of the bedroom door. I also think this is funny. I’m sorry, that makes me a bitch. But she wasn’t that nice. But from her perspective; she obviously didn’t want to be there, she didn’t have to fuck anyone, and she still got paid for the hour. So Good for her? I guess… I don’t know. It was a funny situation all around.
A while ago I was called to a hotel I've really been looking forward to seeing. It has a reputation for being quite beautiful. I really wanted to see the inside of one of the suites. When I get there the client meets me in the lobby, and he tells me, "We have bit of a problem" And I don't like hearing that. It concerns me immediately. I ask him, "What kind of problem?" And he says that we couldn't go up to his room. That is a problem! It leaves us in a bit of a predicament. It's not my problem. It's definitely his problem. I really don't know what his thought process behind this was. What happened was him and his buddies came to town for a concert, and while the boys were all sleeping it off, and he was awake and bored, I guess. So... idle hands... ?lol.
So he called me, and I came, and he has no room. I ask him, "Well, what do you want to do about that?" He had the option of sending me away. Someone may not like me. I'm happy to say that's never happened before, but if I'm not your particular taste or whatever, I can go. However there is a $70 no-show charge. What's happened a couple times, is someone didn't have enough money, so I took their $70 and left. Ha ha. That would suck for them. It's like an NSF charge at the bank. "What? You're broke? Well... It's gunna cost ya!" ha ha ha. But this guy didn't want to do that. I told him that we could spend half an hour together. He agrees to that. And keep in mind we're still in the lobby, so we go around a corner and he pays me discretely. I'm thinking this is kinda hilarious. What are we supposed to do now? "Did you want to go for a walk? There's a Starbucks around the corner. We can hang out" Alison! Do not laugh out loud! So that's what we did. It was around 10:30 in the morning, so it's not like it was dark. This guy really wanted what he wanted though. I had to tell him that I require 1. Privacy, and 2. A bed. I'm not going to fool around with you or anything in any sort of public space. Because, A. I don't want to get arrested! You know that. It's kind of one of my things. Especially for some bullshit charge like public indecency. Really! and B. I don't put on free shows. So if you want to fuck me with your buddy watching, you're both paying me for your time. He wanted to fool around and give him a BJ on some side street. It's still a street though. There are still cars driving down this street, at 10:30 in the morning. "It's not going to happen" I tell him. Then he tried to get me to fool around with him in the parkade of the hotel. And I didn't even get as far as to determine if he had a car in the parkade. I didn't care. Some hotels have cameras in the parkades, some don't. Again, I'm not taking that chance. Especially in downtown hotels. I may want to get back into the hospitality industry. I may want to apply for a job, and my future boss being, "Oh right, you're that girl we caught fucking in a car down in the basement that time." Nope. That's not me. Needless to say he was very disappointed. I'm baffled to know what he thought was going to happen. This was funny, and weird, and awkward, and just stupid. It doesn't take the cake though.
That was one situation. Another was more recent.
I was called to a job, and it was a triple. Three girls. I wasn't heading it up, but I'm game. Where and when? I arrive about 10 minutes early. Unless I know the guys, or the situation, I don't go in alone if I'm out numbered. It was dark, so I couldn't quite see the house numbers but I know it's one of two houses. I park around the corner, and wait for the other girls to show up and play on my phone. Whilst doing this I see these guys sitting out on their balcony, and I think, "Awww, shit, that's them" Then I see them pointing at me. "Fuck, I've been spotted" They get off the balcony and they come down, and they approach my car, so I roll down my window, and I'm straight up with them, "I'm just waiting for the other girls to arrive." They invite me in, and then buddy opens the passenger door. The physical reaction I had to this was surprising. I didn't feel threatened by these guys prior, they seemed like normal guys, but when he opened my car door, he invaded my personal space; my safety zone. Clients do not get in my car. They do not touch my car. They often don’t even see my car. That’s my security thing. I like them to think that I have a driver. I like them to think I’m not alone. So when he open my car door, my reaction was a little intense. The level to which I was uncomfortable was high. At this point, I figure I may as well go in.
So we are up on their deck, chatting, they’d been drinking, with a kind of festive feeling. Then this chic shows up. I don’t know all of our girls, or what they drive, so I’m thinking this is one of my colleagues arriving. But the guys are like, “Oh, shit!” This girl was the home owner’s secretary/girl he was banging. Their words, not mine. The home owner and the girl go off to get beer, and that leaves me with the other two dudes and we’re making small chat, when my actual colleagues show up. I kind of felt a little insecure. One of them was that really curvy vivatious girl I told you about. I think she’s really beautiful. She’s a little bigger, but she’s stunning. Then the other girl had the alternative look going for her. She had tattoos and piercings, and borderline orange/pinkish hair. She had her own kind of hotness going on. She had two Tim Burton tattoos. One of them was of Edward Scissorhands, and the other was the girl from Nightmare Before Christmas. The guy was like, “So you really like Johnny Depp” She got very politely defensive about this, but still very defensive. Like, obviously she had been asked a lot about this, and obviously she was tired of explaining it. Maybe she loved her tattoos, but she was tired of talking about it. That’s what I got off her. Strongly. Then dude #2 comes out of the kitchen, looks at her, and says, “You’re not happy to be here at all are you?!?!” ha ha ha ~Realme, do not laugh out loud!~ But she just looked pissed. I think she was even texting at the time, and to me that’s the biggest no-no. You’re getting paid hundreds of dollars for a small amount of time. Get the fuck off your phone. She denied her misery, but she wasn’t sellin it at all! Meanwhile the home owner and his Plus One, we’ll call her, return and Little Miss Tim Burton sees this other chic show up. And, I’m not going to lie, she looked a little hookerish…And Miss Tim Burton thinks she’s one of our girls. And she vocalises this! She starts asking, “Did we do our math wrong? Did we send to many girls?” Blah Blah Blah, I don’t know the conversation that went on between the home owner and the Plus One on their beer run, but I’m standing back just watching this all play out as my co-worker calls the agency to ask if there are too many escorts here, and watching the Plus Ones reaction for jealous based on the fact that the guy she’s fucking is calling escorts. This, my friends, is priceless. This is the strangest fucking situation I have been in, in a little while. But everyone was chill. There was zero drama. No conflict. It was pretty easy to chuckle to yourself just watching what was going on. As the hour ticks by, I’m waiting to see what happens. There are three guys, and four girls. So I say, “You guys should call one of your buddies, and even things out.” Then they give me a hard time for wanting to work to hard. “I’m just sayin…” I tell them. Then one of them pulls me into the other room. I was glad. It’s so much like junior high, where you just don’t want to get picked last for the baseball team. We’ve all been there! Looks aside, I think my personality has a lot to do with it though. I think my openness, and my candidness go along way. I give that more credit than how I look. I’m not saying I’m ugly or anything, but it still felt nice to be picked first. So he pulls me into the other room, and I tell him, “I don’t know man, I kinda want to see how this one’s gunna play out…” But whatever.
So we go, and have our fun (as I call it, ha ha) And I’ve mentioned this before… I squirt, and I leave a bit of a mess. Guys love it. I feel awkward about it, but they go crazy over it, so I don’t hold back. When we’re done, the home owner and the plus one have gone into the other room, and I didn’t realise the other girls were waiting to use our room. I kind of felt really bad, cause they had to fuck in my wet spot. Ha ha ha, eww. “Sorry about the mess team,” I tell them. They play it off like it was nothing. I wouldn’t want to be in someone else’s wet spot. Ha ha. My Bad. I don’t even know if Miss Tim Burton made it past the threshold of the bedroom door. I also think this is funny. I’m sorry, that makes me a bitch. But she wasn’t that nice. But from her perspective; she obviously didn’t want to be there, she didn’t have to fuck anyone, and she still got paid for the hour. So Good for her? I guess… I don’t know. It was a funny situation all around.
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