December was a bleak month when it came to jobs. It was my own fault. Mostly. Mid-December I went home to see family for a week, then I got really sick for almost two weeks, then Christmas. I’ve hardly worked at all. I always get down on myself when I don’t work. I always have to keep telling myself that I need to start treating this like a real job, ie, be available to work more. It’s just hard because I make enough money. I make lots of money.
That doesn’t stop me from stressing about it. Like an idiot, I did not save for taxes, and that has me stressed out a bunch! I have no idea how much I’m going to owe. And before you ask, yes, I have to pay taxes. I’m licenced through the city, so they know what I’m doing. They know I’m working. I’m not going to be able to slip through the cracks. In previous jobs my employer has always taken off taxes for me, but it usually ended up to be about a third of my income. I’m sure I’m in a higher tax bracket now, but I’ve kept every receipt for each time I bought gas, clothes, make-up, hair/nail/spa appointments, each time I paid for my phone, and gym membership, it can all be written off. It would be just lovely if all that knocked me back into a lower tax bracket. Really, I have no idea how any of it’s going to turn out.
The fun part is my uncle used to do my taxes. Ha! Not any more. The agency has an accountant, and I have her number... somewhere. I keep telling myself I need to call her so she can shine the light on the monster in the closet, and see just what we’re looking at. Get it over with. Like a bandaid. I have really bad ostrich syndrome though. If you deny problems, they will go away. Really they will. You won’t have to carry them around like a weight on your mind. Nope. Total denial.
Ok, fine. I’m breaking out excel. I’ll do it. Well, I’ll figure out how much money (on paper) I made this year, and then I’ll be able to ball park how much I owe. I’m scared. Pretty sure the money I have hidden around the condo is not going to cover it...
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