Just Another Day

"Hi, I've got a general for you"

"Ok, go ahead"

"Ok his name is Danielle"

"Danielle?"

"Yeah. He's really hard to understand"

"Awesome," I say

"Yeah. Ok his number is... "

"Perfect. Do you know where he is?"

"Uhhh, 165 Summerdale Crescent"

"That's in Summerville?" 

"Yeah, I think so"

"Go figure" Some neighbourhoods have a reputation for being a little more ethnic than others.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Danielle?"

"Yeah, when are you coming over?"

"Well, where do you live?" I like to hear it from them. 

"Summerville" 

I don't know exactly where it is, but I have a rough idea. "Ok, Danielle, I can be there in half an hour to 45 minutes" 

"Not sooner?"

"Well, no, I have to drive there. That takes time"

"Where are you coming from?"

"I'm coming from half an hour to 45 minutes away"

"Oh. Oh, ok"

"What's your exact address, Danielle?"

"Summerdale Cres"

"Summerdale... D-A-L-E what?"

"Cres"

"Cres? Oh Crescent?"

"Cres."

"Ok, and the house number?"

"One hundred and sixty five"

"Ok. You're at 165 Summerdale D-A-L-E  crescent"

"Yes"

"Ok, I'll see you soon, Danielle"

"Hello?"

"Hi, Danielle, this is Alison. I'm just calling to confirm your address."

"Yes, it's what I told you"

"Right. 165 Summerdale Crescent?"

"Yes"

"Ok, I'm here, but the house numbers only go up to one-oh-four"

"My address is 165 Summerdale Crescent"

"Ok, the numbers don't go up that high. Are you right by a school?" 

"Yes. Where are you?"

"I'm on the corner of Summerdale Crescent and Summerview Road"

"I don't see you?"

"Are you outside?"

"Where are you?"

"I'm right by the baseball diamond"

"Diamond?"

"Yeah, the baseball diamond. Where they play baseball. Listen  I don't know how to find you"

"Go to the Mac's. I will come get you. I drive a gold truck"

"I don't know where the Mac's is. I'm not familiar with this neighbourhood. Listen. Stay where you are and I will find it then I will call you. Hey, hold on, I'm at a place called 'the food store' can you meet me here?"

"You're at a food store? I can meet you at the Safeway?"

"Nooo no no, that's so far away. This place is CALLED the Food Store. You know what? Never mind. Where is Mac's?"

"Its on Summerville Road and Summerville St. I will meet you there. I will go there now"

"No, hold on. I don't know where that is. I will find it first, then I will call you. Then you can come get me"

"I will meet you there now. The Mac's on the Corner of Summerville Road and Summerville St."

"Danielle stay where you are until I find it. Then I will call you." 

"Mac's. I'll meet you there."

"Danielle, listen to me, let me find it first." I'm using my elementary school teacher voice now. I have no idea how long it's going to take to find this place. It didn't make sense to have him wait. 

"I'm leaving now. I'm in a gold truck."

"Danielle, hold on, you're not list..."

"See you there"

Whatever

"There is no friggen Mac's around here. What the fuck is this guy talking about?" I pull into a 7-11 parking lot to use my GPS. It's not long before this guy starts walking awkwardly towards my truck. "Danielle?" I ask. His truck is fucking silver. Not gold. 

"Yes. Hi."

"This is 7-11 not Mac's"

"Sorry. Mistake. Summerville is that way," He says pointing in the opposite direction. 

"Summerdale is over there? Dale?"

"Yes"

"Ok. Let me show you something" I pull out my GPS. 

He pulls an electrical bill out of his back pocket and points at the address. To put me in my place I guess. Silly stupid girl. 

"That says SummerRIDGE!  RIDGE!!! Not Summerdale"

"YES!!!"

Forget it. "Lets go" 

I get in my car and he gets in his 'gold' truck and we drive off. 

When we get to his place he proceeds to fuck me like a blind man writing a braille novel. "What does that even mean?" You ask. You don't want to know. Not good. Then, without a grunt or a groan he sits up and says, "I'm done" with all the satisfaction of a two year old after potty training. 

"Good," I say with equal enthusiasm.