I Have Standards

It’s not that I haven’t been writing… it’s just that I haven’t been working. I had 3 shitty half hour calls on the weekend, and nothing since. And I would like to emphasise the word shitty. Saturday nights was extra special, and it took my whole evening. He called at 8:30, booked me for 10:30. Which means I get no calls in between. And he’s like we’re going to be in the garage. And I ask if there is any furniture in the garage. “Yes, there’s a bed.” Ugh, not excited about this. Also. Because I have a scheduled call, they’re not going to book me on anything that could interfere, when in reality, I could have done a call prior. When I get there, he says we can’t go in, we have to go to a new house. I don’t think I’m getting screwed around, but there’s definite potential for it here. I make him pay me before we change venues. “No, no, no, it’s no problem,” He says. “Oh, good,” I reply, flashing him my beautiful smile, “If it’s no problem, then paying me is no problem.” There’s so much I say with such kindness, but everyone knows, I’m saying, “Don’t fuck me around.” But I’m saying it nicely. He pays me, and he even shows me his drivers licence, so I can see the address of the second venue. It’s just a garage. No “furniture”. In the same tone I say, “Are we going inside?” “No, no, no, there’s no problem” He says again, like that means something. “There’s a mat” “Is that a joke?” I ask him. Nice face gone. “I am not going to fuck you on the floor of a garage.” “No, it’s ok! You’ll be on top!” “No, it’s disgusting. I have standards, and I’m not doing this. I asked you on the phone if there was furniture, and you said yes.” “There’s a chair” He points to a metal folding chair. “No. Listen. I am not doing this. We can go inside, and I will be very quite, but this…” I wave my hand around to indicate the garage, “This is not happening.” So we go back to the first place, in to the garage, and the room with the bed, sorry, “bed”. Fuck. Really… fuck. I don’t know what I was expecting… maybe a lofty, “I rent the space above my garage” kind of thing. That was not what this was. It was a dirty disgusting mattress on the floor. New low maybe? Normally I woulda walked, but like I say. Business hasn’t been slow. It’s been dead. Whatever. I had a blanket in my car, which I use for personal uses (ie picnics), never even occurred to me to ever use it for work, and laid it down. Can I remind you that it was only a half hour call.

So I had my photo shoot. I am not impressed. Seriously not impressed. Alex recommended someone he knew from art school. I’ve seen this woman’s work. She shoots for magazines. She’s amazing! So I’m all excited about it, and she’s arranged for a stylist to do my hair and make up. The stylist she picked did the make up for all the promotional material for fashion week last year. All good. I stressed that I wanted these photos to be classy, and not slutty, like the other girls on the web. We decided to do my hair in big curls, so it will be easy to hide my face in them. The stylist and I didn’t gel well. It was a little awkward. I don’t know why, but there was seriously not a lot of conversation. I don’t know. I guess I’m comparing it too much with the other photos. The photos that may as well not exist because, they never seem to be going up on line, and I don’t get to have them. In those photos I look like a Calvin Klein model (well if Calvin Klein models weighed 125 lbs, ha ha!) The photos we took today looked like me. And they were really good, don’t get me wrong, but with the people I was working with, I kinda expected better. I didn’t like my make up at all. My hair was frizzy, and I looked like a little girl. I’m really upset by it. Ok. Having said that, I looked at them in the studio, and haven’t since. I think I should sleep on it, and have another look. And these pics are untouched. She wants me to pick two from each set, and she will touch them up. I think I may end up with 20 polished pieces, which will be awesome. I need to quit stressing. I’m stressing a lot. My other stupid job is very stressful. Always under the gun, taking up way too much time, and I really didn’t think it would cut into my real job this much. Sorry for being so negative.