Kegger

     I went to a kegger tonight. My brother said, “And how old are you?” Never you fucking mind! It’s 4:41 and you’re getting Realme blogging drunk as shit! 

     What a night. Jake invited me to this party tonight, and I guess it’s been a (really) long time since I’ve been to a completely hetro party. The only person I knew there was him, and in addition to deciding to make a major career change, discovering that my life was threatened, I also had a major discovery in my personal life that would set anyone off their normal day. Things always come in threes right? Whatever. I thought this party would get me out of my funk. 

    Obviously, no one at this party knew about my job, and it made me feel like a fly on the wall observing people get their flirton. It was so interesting! There was this one guy. Totally hot, but kept to him self. He seemed to have an awesome disposition though. So I started chatting with him. The irony was so thick, I may have choked on it a little. We had one of those super drunk, super deep conversations. We talked about his marriage. We never swapped names, and I told him he wasn’t allowed to ask me any questions, because I didn’t want to tell him about my job. I told him that I interact with a lot of married men, but often when they’re not at the best part of their marriage, and it was so interesting to talk to someone who wasn’t at that point. His wife wasn’t there, and he talked quite candidly. He under-estimated how much work a marriage was! 

    “It’s work!” He exclaimed, “I never thought I would be the one who didn’t want to have sex!” It didn’t take much to get him to confess that after six years of being together (1 1/2 of actual marriage) that they still have sex three to four times a week) He was greatly relieved when I told him that’s fantastic. I don’t know why he gave me any credit in that feild, but he did. He told me that he definitely still looks at other girls, and still wants to have sex with other women, but there is no way under the sun that he could imagine his life without his woman. And hence, he tows the line. 

     Later on I was talking to this other guy. He was cute, again I didn’t get his name. Deliberately. Why is that? I didn’t want it. Maybe it was because I felt since we’re not going to hook up, then whats the point. Where else would the relationship go? That’s not what I thought. I didn’t give it thought. I’m drunk. But that’s probably the reasoning behind it. I liked him though. Liked everything he stood for. He told me pretty much the same thing as married guy did. Minus the marriage part. But he wants to be with a woman, and having said that, he knows in that relationship he will always be wanting to have sex with other women, but at the same time still want to come home and snuggle with his lady. He implied that he wouldn’t cheat, but said he would always be tempted too. 

     Married Guy and I concluded that our generation don’t know how to have relationships. When things get hard they quit. I begged him to hang in there when things got hard. Marriages breaking up break my heart. I’ve been proposed to, and I did not accept because I knew he was not right for me. It was shit or get off the pot time. I’m sure other girls see a life of security rather than a life of unhappiness that I saw and do say yes for the wrong reasons, but if you say yes for the right reasons, remember that when shit hits the fan. Remember that you are right for each other, and be patient and work it out. Go for therapy, and tell each other your secrets. That shit you’re afraid to say. Because when it comes to 50 years of someone getting to know you, you can’t just swap that out. 

By the way, I was told I should give a shout out to EM in TO. Based on your experience and background, I'd love to hear your input on the blog.