Beauty is Pain. Goddamnit.

     I found a bump. You know... down there... Then I had a freak out over red bumps down there. I’ve been to the doctor three times over in-grown hairs. I’m terrified that it’s the herp. After much poking and prodding, I have discovered that this too is an in-grown hair. I’m going to the clinic tomorrow anyway. Just for fun. And I’m out of birth control. I get my pill packets two months at a time. It keeps me going back on a regular basis. 

     Following that (after a liquid lunch with Alex) I’ll be going to get all that hair removed on a more permanent basis. The problem I have with in-grown hairs isn’t bad, but it isn’t good, so I’m going for electrolysis. Waxing was dumb, because the hair is always growing back, shaving is a pain; literally, nair isn’t going near my naughty bits, what else does that leave? Electrolysis. Ughhh.

    I’m terrified. For the record. I know how much waxing hurts. I know how much getting my eyebrows lasered hurts. I figure if you multiply the two, that will be close to what I’m in for. Hence the liquid lunch with Alex. And I’m going to pop some tylenol, and get some topical cream, and smoke a dube. Repeat once a month for five to six months. 

    I’m also terrified I will ever have the opposite reaction. Ever heard of the violet wand? Google it. Yeah, it gets me off. Totally. Don’t kid yourself, the eyebrow situation was in no way erotic, but on my lady parts? I don’t know. I’m sure it will be fml pain, not oo-la-la pain. I’ll report back tomorrow and let you know how it goes, I’m sure you will all be in suspense. I imagine I’ll be a little sensitive afterwards, so it will be all I will have to report on.