Lube

     It’s 9:30 on a Friday night, and I’m at the drug store picking up lube. On a whim I decided  to try KY Jelly. This was a fail, and I needed something new asap. My calls were lined up tonight. Well, not really, that makes me sound like such a whore... wait... Well, I had an internet ad at 6:45, then at 8:30 I had a call back, then at 10:00 Mr. Texas. I guess that makes me a whore. I’m ok with that.  

     So I’m standing there deciding which lube to buy, I’m always torn between Astroglide, and KY. They’re kinda different, but generally I go with which one fits most discretely in my purse. They had something new today! KY has these little easter egg size balls o’ lube! 

     “What’s this?!?!” I exclaim, to no one in particular. But the novelty isn’t even the best part! They last for four freaken days! I do not buy it. This is not something that I want to experiment with on my way to work. And four days? Really? I don’t really want to mental image what that’d be like? The word ‘Goopy’ comes to mind. Eww. My brain is going way further with that, but I really don’t think you want to go there with me. 

   Purchases in hand I head to the check out, and in front of me in line are four middle aged, slightly over-weight women. All with arms full of junk food. Clearly they all have their friday nights planned. I suppose there’s nothing wrong with a little snackie on a friday night, but the only thing that came to mind was ‘I never want to be like that.’ I’m making assumptions, but I’m fairly certain that they were just going home to their cat and misery. Yes. I’m a horrible person. Oh well.