The Shaft

  I was going to call this blog 'Worst Thing I've Ever Done' but I immediately felt the need to defend myself. Instead I went with this title and explain how I dealt with it. 

    I saw this guy about a month ago. He was an ok guy. Didn't especially like him but there was nothing wrong with him. He was easy to talk to, and he thought I was awesome.

    "Alison, you're awesome. You're just awesome. You're so awesome". Yup. I'm awesome. 

    He called me back three times after our initial meet, but each time I was either not booked on, or I was with another client. Apparently he even called while I was out of town. I felt bad. I was worried he'd think I didn't like him.  

    He called tonight and I was free so I booked it. He lives in one of those towns that is so close to the city that it's almost been swallowed up by it, but no quite. Because it's outside of the city limits, it's a higher rate. Yay. I got there about ten minutes late due to the bad roads but he was happy to see me and a very gracious host. There was money sitting on the counter, but the stack was a little... short, and not the faces I like to see on those bills. 

    “Is that for me?” I ask sweetly.

    “Yeah, but here’s the thing...” And he starts humming and ha-ing. He’s saying “Well, The thing is...” And not using actual words so much I have to cut him off.

    “Clark, is this a good story or a bad story?” 

    “Well it’s not a bad story! I’ve been to three ATM’s and they are saying that the network for my bank is down.”

    I didn’t quite know how to handle this. Like I say, he was a nice guy, and we spent 90% of our last visit talking and getting to know him. I didn’t want to not trust him. Also, what was the alternative? Take the half payment and leave? And this is where I break Rule Number 1: Always collect full payment upfront. Regardless of what’s going on. Get him to put his pants back on, and go to the ATM across the street if you have to. If he wants to go further, you have to see the cash first, otherwise, chances are pretty damn good you’re not going to see it at all. 

    “How about you and I go to the casino, have some dinner, play some games, and have a good time. I can get some cash there to pay you,” He suggests. 

    “There’s a casino in town?” I ask. I didn’t think there was. 

    “No, no, we’ll go to the Whatever Casino.”

    “Ok,” I said, placing where in my city it was in relation to where we were... pretty much the opposite end of town. Minimum 40 minute drive. “Did you want to take separate cars?” I then explained to him my car policy. 

    He wasn’t to excited to hear that, two cars just seemed silly to him. He suggested we call a cab. I agreed as it seemed to be the best solution, and the only way I would get paid. He called, and they’d be about 3/4 of an hour to get to us, as they were busy because of the road conditions. Ugh. Annoying. As we sit there, chatting, I was thinking, what if things go south? What if I have to leave for what ever reason? This was getting too difficult. This is where I break rule number two. 

    “Lets just take my car.” I wanted to get paid, and hanging out here wasn’t going to make that happen. 

     “Are you sure?”

     And off we go. The roads were bad, so I was overly cautious on the highway, and he kept wanting to play with my hands, hold them and stroke my fingers. I was too busy white knuckling it, and at one point I just blurted out, “Ok, you need to stop doing that. I have to focus on the roads.” 

     The drive was 45 minutes of him telling me how awesome I was and how much fun we were going to have. He was continuously turning the radio up, yet still wanting to maintain a conversation. I was not having fun. 

     When we get there he tries to take out $3K from the teller, and his credit card is declined. He gets them to try again, and to avoid awkwardness, I take this opportunity to go get a drink well he gets his shit sorted out. When I return he’s on the phone with Visa. 

    To make a long story short, he spent the next hour and half getting transferred from person to person at Visa because he wanted them to re-activate his card, even though he’s been issued a new one. I tried to distance myself from his swearing and berating of the credit card employees but it was pretty obvious I was with this tool. People where staring. It was awesome. 

     It was obvious to me that he wasn’t going to get the money. A bank cannot re-activate a card after a new one has been issued. The old one is dead. And like you’re grandma, it’s staying that way. Sorry team. I was pissed. We were going to take a cab here! What was his fucking game plan for when we arrived. I’m sure the fare would have been between $70-$100 or more. He knew his credit cards weren’t working before I arrived. Was the thinking that I was just going to pay for it. That was a big factor of what pissed me off the most about this. 

     I said fuck it, and left him there. When his back was turned, I just took off. At first I felt quite guilty leaving him there, essentially stranded but he obviously had no qualms about fucking me over with the cab situation. All I say, is thank gawd I had my car with me! 

    So that was the 12th, Monday. The girl on the phones tried to console me by saying it had been a slow night. I said, “Even if you’re lying, thanks.” I told her to put him in the bad book. 

     Today is Saturday, and that ass-clown has the balls to call me back. I had booked off for dinner, and she phones me and says, “I know you’re booked off, but I have a call-back for you. I was just wondering what you’d like me to do with it.”

     “Who is it?”

     “Kevin.”

     “Kevin! You can tell him to go fuck him self! That’s what you can do! This is the guy who screwed me over last week! I thought you’d put him in the bad book. Apparently he’d done the same thing to Liz. Why is he still allowed to book through us!?!” I try not to give the girls on the phone a hard time. If they don’t like me, they won’t book me. But seriously! 
    
    If I told you this guys last name, those who live in town would know him. The temptation is overwhelming. He left me with his drivers licence in good faith to prove he wouldn't vanish when he went to the washroom, and I took a picture of it with my camera. If posting it wouldn't give away where I live, I totally would :D