I'm Not a Fucking Homeless Person

     Mr. Texas has been promising to pay my tuition for a month now. I’ll smile and nod and wait. Finally I said bashfully, “When do you think we’ll be able to do that?” I don’t know how to ask for money! We agreed on last Monday, the 12th. It was his birthday and I said I would take him out for dinner, on my own time. This man has given me so much business, I figure it’s a nice way to say thanks. 

    I have the reservation booked, but that afternoon he cancels saying he’s been called out of town for work. Of course. So whatever. 

    He called me yesterday to let me know he’s back in town, and I try again for the dinner. Instead he wants me to go to his staff Christmas party with him that night. It was between 4 - 6 PM that night. 

    “Oh, really, oh, that sucks. I have dinner with my mom tonight. I was going to book our reservation for later, like last time. I just wouldn’t eat that much at moms. Oh, honey, I wish I could go to your party with you!” The lies poured out of me like water. I couldn’t think of anything I’d rather do less than go to his staff party. There’s at least 25 year age difference between us, and no one would believe I was his actual date.  

     Then he starts telling me about how he has this coffee tin full of coin and he doesn’t know what to do with it. He’s asking me if he can take it to the bank with out rolling it. I tell him no, he has to roll them, but there’s a certain grocery store that has a machine, and for 10% you can dump the coins in and it will roll it all for you.
    “Well where is it?”
    “There’s a few of them, but none super close to you, you would need a car.”

    “Well why don’t I just give it to you?” 

    “Yeah, I can take it in for you.” I figure why the hell not. I have a car, and it wouldn’t take more than half an hour of my life. Mr. Texas is a good guy.

    “There’s probably over a thousand dollars in there. You can use that for your tuition. I always said I would pay that for you.”

     “Uhhh... ok...” I said. I didn’t know what to say. You want to pay my tuition with coin? Are you kidding? I don’t think so. The conversation didn’t last much longer than that. I seriously didn’t know what to say.

     He told me to give him a call after his staff party. I didn’t. He wants a princess, well he’s got one. I’ve decided to give him the silent treatment. I figure, if he wants to pay my tuition, fine. Awesome. Go ahead. But buddy, I don’t need it. I earned it with my other clients yesterday. Don’t give me your fucking pocket change. Don’t insult me.